California Hate

Two Sundays ago I watched my third Super Bowl here in California and that got me thinking. "Wow, I've watched three Super Bowls here in California. That's probably long enough for me to have a fairly well formed idea of the place"...and it's fuckin great! What did you think I was gonna say? We've got near constant sun and near legal weed! You can surf solid waves pretty much whenever you want and the tacos are unbelievable. 

But I'm not here to brag. In fact I want to make my brothers and sisters back east feel a little better, since they still have snow on the ground from Christmas. So then, here are the top several worst things about California.

No delicatessens. The only place to get cold cuts is the supermarket and the only thing worse than the roast beef is the service. Back home, people take pride in selling and buying high quality meats. That's just not the case here.


Pizza sucks. The crust, the sauce, the toppings, the construction. It all sucks. Except for little Italian joint near my apartment. It's great! Score! But back to the suckiness, most places just don't get it. "Let's dump 6 pounds of random toppings on top of our frozen crust. Awesome dude!"


Avocados. They put them on fucking everything out here. Pizza included. 

Just when you thought this would be an all food list...


Traffic/the drivers themselves.  It's difficult to compare the traffic problems among some of the places I've lived. The DC metro area, Northern New Jersey, and now Southern California are all unbearable at times and I can't say if it's definitely worse out here. According to this list, it is but at least drivers in the first two places are comfortable driving in the rain. People lose their minds at the first sign of drizzle and start sliding all over the 405. Also, no one uses their turn signals. No one.

Crowded lineups. I said earlier that you can surf solid waves whenever you want. I lied, it's small right now. But when it does get good, you're out with 75 dudes no matter where you go.

Ok, this is South Africa. Whatever. 

  
Smog. Beautiful sunsets, ugly lungs.


That's all I feel like writing can think of right now. So take heart, frigid east coasters. Temperatures are warming for you, and it's not that nice out here anyway.

Just because we're bereaved doesn't mean we're saps!

I'm at Pep Boys, writing this on my iPhone. It's a pain in the ass, but so what? I'm at Pep Boys for the second time this week! I love car maintenance! Though aside from the expenditure, it hasn't been too bad. I jogged home from Pep Boys the other day and have gotten to walk the Costa Mesa streets a bit. That's something I miss about Hoboken and Manhattan; just being out and about in humanity. Actually, that sounds like it sucks. And it did sometimes, but you know what I mean. It's nice to walk places. 

It's been almost two weeks since my dad's memorial service. How was that for a segue? The urn (which at $395 was not their most modestly priced receptacle) looked great and their were tons of pictures along with his golf memorabilia and trophies. Even his clubs were in the room. The minister said some very kind things and I even managed to choke back the tears and say a few words. To be honest, other than he general suckiness of the occasion, Matt, Ria and I had a pretty good time in Columbus. Not a bad little town there.

Ok, back home and on a computer. That's nice. But anyway, I'm doing well. Having my man Scotty D out here has been awesome. The kid has been training his ass off by day and painting Orange County red by night and more reinforcements arrive from Jersey next week. We're taking over like the South Park episode. Updates to come.

In closing, a bit of news: I've been asked to contribute content to a health website. Because when you think about health and general fitness, you think "Scott Jones." Again, more info as it becomes available. Stay warm northeasterners!

Love you dad!

I wish Liverpool's uninspired defeat to Blackburn Rovers was the worst thing that happened to me on Wednesday January 5th. If I was most upset about a Steven Gerrard penalty miss and a once proud club slipping ever closer towards irrelevance that day, fine. But it wasn't even a distant second on my list. There was no second worst thing. That's because my father, Robert Scott Jones, Sr. died of a heart attack that morning. He was only 59.

Thank God he called me on New Year's Eve. If he hadn't, I might be writing about how bad I feel for not having returned his call from a few days prior. I still feel bad, because I meant to call him on Monday or Tuesday and didn't. I had things I wanted to tell him.  Having spoken to him just a few days before his death does make it a bit easier, but I never got to tell him about how on Tuesday, I chipped in for birdie on the 18th. He would have loved it! Anyway, he was in a great mood that night, (as was I) and he asked me to pass the phone around so he could wish Ria and Chase a happy New Year too. That's just the kind of guy he was.

He was really looking forward to my wedding, and I know there were people who were looking forward to seeing him, and that's been the hardest part of all this. Shit, by that time it would have been three years since I'd seen him face to face. So instead of toasting with him, I'll be toasting for him and that will have to do. 

Obviously, this has been a tough week. But I've had help. My friends Jayme and Sara were here when I got the news, which must have been awkward for them! But they were great. I was also very lucky to have my man Scotty D. flying in to spend a few weeks out here in sunny California. I like to think the Man Upstairs was trying to help me out a bit by sending some extra support out here. 

(Side note- The night before I got the bad news, Jayme came back from San Diego with some pot that can only be described as "bomb-ass." Everything I've smoked before is garbage. I would find out later that it's called Fire Kush, and I swear to God, it helped me through this. It was like Xanex, but way funner. I now truly believe in medical marijuana.)

I also want to thank everyone who's called or texted these last few days. It really does help. But I think I'll wrap this up now. Dad always said that life goes on and he wouldn't want me or my brother Matt to spend very much time being sad. I sure do miss him though.

I am still a blogger

Greetings in the new year! I've been away a few weeks, and I know you've missed me. This post was originally going to be a detailed recap of my trip home to Jersey for Christmas. While there was enough material for an entire post (or two), I'm a good week late on this, so I decided just to briefly sum up each day of the trip.

Weds 12/22- Poker night at Scotty's. Drank too much scotch and went all in with 10-6, off-suit. Also had beers at the Broadway in Pt. Pleasant. Happy birthday Stu, if you read this.

Thurs 12/23- Wight Family Christmas party. Thumbguns and spilled wine. A great time as always. Jayme (and Sarah) are actually staying with us here in OC right now.

Two of these sweet little holes are Ria's. One is mine.

Christmas Eve- Received the Holy Eucharist, ate fish, and took part in a new family tradition of Jameson shots. I wish this was an old family tradition, but better late than never.

Christmas Day- Prosecco with breakfast. Gave my mom a TV and got a surround sound system. Homemade game of Minute to Win It, got second place. Also hung out with some knuckleheads at JR's in Seaside, which was a great time, but what happened to Dave and Petey?

Boxing Day (UK and Canada)- The snow started mid-day and the Giants controlled their own density. Oh, what I meant to say was, "their own destiny." They got schooled and I drank scotch.

Mon 12/27- The snow stopped mid-day, and that's about it. Played scrabble and drank a little scotch.

Tue 12/28- Dug out my mom's car and beasted it up to EWR (learn your airport codes). As you might have read on the Good Book, I gave a skycap $20 to check our bags because the line to check in was absolutely insane. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that it was the entire lower level of Terminal C. I wish I had a picture. The news was there. Anyway, I thought I was ballin', but since we ended up being delayed several hours, the return on investment took a slight hit. Better than waiting in that line though.

Random Asian woman stuck in Terminal C at Newark Airport

You can see the pattern here. But despite the consumption, I have pretty good recall of everything. Trips home mean everything to me and it was great to see everyone. Well not everyone, but most folks. 2011 is going to be big for me and I hope it'll be big for all of you as well. Yes, all 12 of you. I want to write more frequently and I've got some ideas for future posts. We'll see what happens.

Uh, it's real. This is real.

I never envisioned myself in the position I find myself in now. I'm blogging from a Starbucks. I can't tell you how unnerving it was to type that sentence. It's incredibly cliché at this point, isn't it? Very 2004 or sometime several years ago when nerds, previously tied down by a lack of WiFi, self-esteem, and melanin, emerged from their parents' basements, emboldened by free wireless and the idea that their inane opinions might be more interesting if they had a URL. And guess what? That's right, bird brain, they were.

Don't look at me! I'm hideous!

Fueled by caffeine (and marijuana), the nerds became hipsters and scenesters and foodies.  Trust fund babies with no practical skills whatsoever built empires based on telling people what they drank at which club, or something! Right? Haven't they? Probably. And now, all their hot air, along with the steam from their lattes, has risen high above the Earth, forming the blogosphere. Zing.

But thanks to these digital pioneers, I felt comfortable enough to start my own blog, and I thought I'd give the Starbucks move a try. This entry is about sports.

Sports have been on my mind more than usual lately, which is saying something. If you think this is because I have no identity of my own anymore, and that I rely on the performance of my favorite teams to find meaning in my life, well you'd be right. I mean wrong! I mean, okay, maybe you're kinda right! If you think about it, if you really take a few minutes to think about it, you'd have to agree that caring about professional sports is actually insane behavior. No well adjusted person's mood should be affected by the millionaires wearing blue shirts scoring more points than the millionaires wearing red shirts. It's totally illogical. Seinfeld was right, we're rooting for laundry.

But who cares! It's late December! The NFL playoff picture is coming into focus! The Premiere League is entering the intense Christmas period when some clubs will play three matches in six days! The good NBA teams are separating themselves from the herd! The MLB Hot Stove is on high with trades and free agent signings galore! Hockey is a sport!

Let me briefly focus on each of these areas as they pertain to my interests.

Giants football is about running the ball and pressuring the opposing QB. The GMen have been doing both very well the last few weeks and we need to keep it up against the hated Eagles on Sunday. They're a good team. But I think the media has made the idea of playing the Eagles more daunting than actually playing them (unless you're the Redskins, where real life is worse than any nightmare). Had Eli slid in Philly, we were right in that game.  We contained Vick, and the Giants are better than they were a month ago, so we win at home 31-24. And there will be a work stoppage next year.

This next beloved team of mine has underperformed for the last 4-5 years amid rampant injuries, front office controversy, managerial changes, disappointing acquisitions, and a general lack of direction, while many of their geographic and symbolic rivals have steadily improved, some winning championships. Wait a minute, am I talking about Liverpool FC or the Mets? Oh, this describes both clubs! Fantastic! I've accepted the fact that LFC and NYM are in transitional phases (I won't say "rebuilding"), and I'll be somewhat patient with them this season. Look out in 2012!

Kindred spirits

The Celtics/Knicks game was fantastic last night. The talent level in the NBA might be at an all-time high and I haven't been this interested since MJ retired. The Heat might be good all of a sudden. And there will be a work stoppage next year.

Hot Stove- I already said the Mets aren't doing anything this year. I think Cliff Lee signed somewhere though.

You're allowed to fight in hockey!

I'm tired now. Until we meet again.

Techmology! What is it?

Yesterday's Premier League clash between Liverpool and Aston Villa wasn't being broadcast on Fox Soccer Channel. Perplexed, I went to the internet. That place has everything. Sure enough, espn3.com had the match. Brilliant!

But wait. Why was espn3.com asking me to choose my internet service provider? Why did it care? I have Shitty Time Warner. Shitty Time Warner wasn't on their list. Evidently, I'm shut out on espn3.com, who by the way, has partnered with MicroSoft to offer its content via XboxLive. I can't do that either. So far, techmol...technology was letting me down.

But wait again. The internet is massive. There must be other sites broadcasting the match. I checked out a couple where I had to download some plug-in. Forget that, the match had started. I needed something now! God bless the "web," I found ezstreamlive.com where I could just choose my match, and start watching. Yes, the window was only about 6 inches wide, and yes the feed was just a bit choppy, but the audio was perfect and I could support the Reds just the same.

Now, never mind that at half time I turned on the TV to see that the match was being shown on ESPN2 in stunning high definition. The fact is, that before I realized I was an idiot, technology had saved the day. (Yes, I watched the second half on my beautiful 47" LCD. Shiiiit.)

 

 

Ngog opens the scoring. This is only a bit smaller than the window I watched the match on.

But as great as technology in general is, I see a few problems. First, just think about how much of your day is spent staring at a screen of some kind. How many of us stare at a computer all day, while constantly fiddling with our phones, only to come home and turn on the TV? If this describes your day, I'm not pooing on you. When I had a job, that's exactly what I did. I read some article (yes, on the internet) that said adults spend something like 8 hours a day staring at screens. That's kind of a shame, isn't it?

I certainly don't mean to condemn the internet, or technology, or cool things with screens. Heck, we're both staring at screens right now. And I'd like people to continue reading my blog, so I'm not trying to be anti-screen. But the fact is, that our reliance on our bright, glowing, screeny things has gotten a little out of hand. Case in point...actually a few cases in point.

I'm at the supermarket and I see a mom pushing her little girl in a stroller. The girl, who couldn't have been more than three, was staring, wide-eyed at the DVD player in her lap. Another time, I saw two young parents distracting their fussy INFANT with the cartoon playing on the dad's iPhone. TVs in cars are almost standard at this point and kids and babies are being raised on the warm blue glow of screens. I just don't think this bodes well for the future.

Time to upgrade, kid.

Look at our generation, kids of the 80's. Our parents (and probably their parents) used to say, "Watching too much TV will turn your brain to mush." But it's not just TV anymore. Smart phones and portable media have really only exploded in the last 5-10 years, right? In a decade, we've gone from the most basic of cell phones to iPhones and all the other things that wish they were iPhones. Now, kids are using these things from a much younger age.

Remember when it used to be rude to answer your phone when you were out with friends? Me neither. How many times have you been in a group of four where all four people are messing with their phones? It's happened to me a few times, and it freaks me out. Now, I love the fact that I can instantly post a pic when something sweet happens, but I'm trying to be aware if I'm messing with my phone at the expense of the real, live people in front of me.

Introduction

"Remember, a writer writes always."

That's a quote from Billy Crystal's character, Larry Donner in Throw Mama from the Train. Do you italicize movie titles? I don't remember. In any case, I think that's good advice. Since I lost my job in October (and before) I've been telling people that I want to be a writer. Specifically an advertising copywriter. The problem is, I haven't been doing nearly enough writing for someone with that particular goal. So, like the rest of the jerk offs out there, I've started a blog.

I'm going to cover a variety of subjects over the coming weeks, months and the idea is to become a better writer and to show prospective employers how I think. A lot of it will just be therapeutic. I tend to write in "stream of consciousness" style, but I'll try to keep that to a minimum and stay organized. Most posts will be dedicated to a specific subject be it sports, food, music, what I did that day, making fun of myself, making fun of my friends, things that bother me, whatever. But I know that sometimes I'll just end up writing whatever comes to mind, like I am now.

So, I guess that's a start. Maybe I'll be back on Monday with a weekend recap or something less lame. Cheers.