1994- Year in Review

Hello, reader(s).

A brief note before we begin— As you've CERTAINLY noticed, this weblog is operating under a new name. I knew from the beginning that "30 Year Old Boy" would only be accurate for a year, but I didn't care because my immaturity would last a lifetime. However, now that I'm entering my mid-thirties I just feel that the blog could use a more universal title.

But more than that, I kinda wanted a fresh start. I hadn't been writing that much and my hope is that this "clean slate" will uh, make me write more often or something. What is The Illusion of Knowledge? Quite simply, it's the fact that we as humans don't know as much as we think. Or more accurately, we confuse the basic understanding of a concept with deep knowledge of that concept.

Watch this handy video.

Did you watch it? I love the last line: "...the illusion of knowledge is necessary to keep you from having to face your own incompetence."  I mean, that's just perfect. Also, don't forget to catch a new season of "Brain Games" premiering March 18th at 10pm eastern, only on NatGeo.

So there you go. I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm just sharing what I think I know. The tone of my writings won't change much, but hopefully the frequency will.



Now then, how's your 2014 going so far? So far so good over here. I still own my home, the golf game is slowly improving, Liverpool FC is sitting in second place, and we have a baby boy on the way. You never know what's going to happen with one of those.

"A child..."

Like all parents, we're just hoping for 10 fingers, 10 toes, and for him to be hot. Hot people have it so much easier. Trust me. We think he stands a good chance, but it's a real gamble with mixed race babies. Contrary to stupid white women everywhere, they're not ALL cute. Sometimes they're messed up looking. We always take note of kids with the same racial makeup as our future kid. "Oh look, a hybrid baby. That's a cute one. He even has that cool hair color." Our kid is very unlikely to have the cool hair color but again, we hold out all hope for hotness and athletic ability.

I'm sure I'll write plenty about the kid and the accompanying daddy issues my own fatherhood will drag to the surface, but we'll cry over the side of that bridge when we come to it.

Another thing 2014 has brought is what I can only characterize as some kind of second puberty involving ear hair. Old men have ear hair, and I guess this is when it starts. And those bastards hurt to pluck! The follicles are so new! They haven't been desensitized like my uni-brow follicles. I pluck those five at a time if I can. And I can.

I'm also moody, smelly, and I'm starting to look at women differently, in that, I know cannot have them.

Ahh, second puberty. It reminds me of, of, puberty. The year was 1994. Twenty years ago. My God, has it been that long. There were so many hot girls in my middle school. When I was in 7th grade, some of the 8th grade girls looked like straight up WOMEN. Especially Andrea Mundy. Fiery red hair and boobs. Huge boobs. Just curvy. Rumors abounded that she'd had sex. Sex! Her boyfriend was also in 8th grade, but I remember he looked 27 to me. I rode the late bus home with Andrea one afternoon. I forget why I had to stay late. I don't think I was in trouble. She probably got busted trying to have sex somewhere. Sex!

She actually chatted with me and she was, nice. Pleasant. Part of me probably hoped that she would invite me into the woods for sex. She did not. Anyway, '94 was unbelievable. Let's go over the things that happened in '94. Many of these I knew, some I looked up.

Albums
Dookie
Ill Communication
The Downward Spiral
Superunknown
Weezer (Blue Album)
Punk in Drublic
Illmatic
Ready to Die
Nirvana Unplugged
Jar of Flies
Definitely Maybe and Parklife (Brit pop was huge)
Vitalogy
Regulate...G Funk Era
Mellow Gold
Yanni Live at the Acropolis


Films
Pulp Fiction
Forrest Gump
Shawshank Redemption
Four Weddings and a Funeral
The Lion King
The Professional
Dumb and Dumber
Natural Born Killers
Interview With the Vampire
The Mask
Speed
Clerks
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
True Lies
Reality Bites
Quiz Show

Events
Probably the first time I used the internet
First version of Netscape Navigator is released! How far we've come...
Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman murdered in by an unknown assailant.
OJ and AC Cowlings engage police in a low speed chase terminating in front of OJ's home (and Baba Booey to y'all)

MLB goes on strike
Mandela elected president of South Africa
Michael Jordan: minor leaguer
Rangers win the Stanley Cup
Tonya Harding, Jeff Gillooley, Nancy Kerrigan, Lillehammer Olympics
NAFTA
Lorena Bobbitt- Not guilty (insanity)
Rwandan genocide begins
I went to Italy with my whole family! We were actually in Rome when Brazil beat Italy in the World Cup final. THAT was wild.
Channel Tunnel opens
Kurt Cobain dies
Richard Nixon dies
Cab Calloway dies
Woodstock '94
George Foreman becomes the oldest heavyweight champ after knocking out Michael Moorer
Jeffery Dahmer is beaten to death in prison, remember?
Harry Styles, Dakota Fanning, and Justin Bieber are born.

I think that's a good place to end. I left out plenty, so if there's anything I missed that you think is egregious, let me know. But what a year it was. I think we're in another good era for music and movies. Some good stuff out lately. And events? Can't stop those. Until next time.