Friday, May 16, 2014

There's always next year

I woke up this past Sunday wondering if, just maybe, Liverpool Football Club were champions of England. The last matches of the season had all been played.

Normally, waking up for a 7am kickoff is doable. However a recent addition to the bedroom has changed this. Simply put, temporary blinds are a huge upgrade in light-blocking over our previous window covering, a lavender bed sheet. We'll see how temporary they are.

I have, in the past, woken up far earlier to watch a match live. I've been at the pub at 5:30am before. But as TV coverage of the English Premier League has improved, it just isn't necessary for me to go anywhere. And as I've aged, even in just the past couple of years, sleep has increased in value tremendously.

Something is lost when watching a sporting event on DVR delay. Namely, the liveness. But for me, something about the nature of a soccer match makes doing so much more tolerable compared to other sports. Perhaps it's the lack of commercial breaks. I don't know, watching an NFL after it's already over seems weird to me. But with soccer, it's a more intimate presentation or something. I kind of feel like the match is being played just for me, even though that's patently ridiculous. What's the difference between watching at 7am or 9am? As long as I keep my phone turned off to avoid texts from east coasters and so I'm not tempted to look at Twitter or the internet, it's easy to create the illusion of liveness. It's live, if you believe it.

If the final match day had been Liverpool's victory lap, or if their odds of claiming the title were closer to realistic, I like to think I would have at least watched it live on my couch and maybe would have even gone to the pub to hug strangers. For Liverpool to be crowned champions for the first time since 1990, they needed to win (quite likely) and Manchester City needed to lose at home to West Ham (extremely unlikely).

1990 was a long time ago

But as it was, I watched Liverpool's match against Newcastle United about two and half hours behind real time. After falling behind to Martin Skrtel's fourth own goal of the season, the Reds equalized, then took the lead through nearly identical set pieces within two minutes of each other. And that's how the game and the season would end. City won at home like they were supposed to, and collected their second title in three years. How downtrodden must Manchester United supports be? Their two bitterest rivals finish first and second and United misses out on European qualification, while firing their manager in the process. :)

On the whole of it, this was an outstanding season for LFC. They qualified for next year's Champions League (their main goal), played some dazzling football at times, and catapulted themselves back into their rightful place as one of the biggest clubs in the world. And yet, the prevailing feeling among supporters (or at least this one) is one of disappointment in coming so close and falling just short. But the future is probably as bright as it's been for Liverpool since the salad days of the 1980's.

A Liverpool title occurring just weeks before the birth of my son certainly would have been special. I suppose the birth, on its own, still will be. But yes, we're getting close. The nursery is all set. Car seats are installed. Teeny tiny socks are washed and folded. I'm prepared for the stages of labor. I know how to perform CPR on an infant. And despite my earlier claim regarding the increased value I've come to place on sleep, I'm ready for a lack of it. I'm looking at is like an adventure. Cool stuff usually goes down in the middle of the night. I remember how exciting it was as a kid when we would all wake up super early for a road trip. So I'll just be doing that every single night, but instead of driving to New Jersey in the family minivan, I'll be delivering my son to the breast. That's fun!

Maybe the strange hours will allow (require?) me to watch more matches live come next season. I'll have to get him a Liverpool onesie.









Tuesday, March 11, 2014

1994- Year in Review


Hello, reader(s).

A brief note before we begin— As you've CERTAINLY noticed, this weblog is operating under a new name. I knew from the beginning that "30 Year Old Boy" would only be accurate for a year, but I didn't care because my immaturity would last a lifetime. However, now that I'm entering my mid-thirties I just feel that the blog could use a more universal title.

But more than that, I kinda wanted a fresh start. I hadn't been writing that much and my hope is that this "clean slate" will uh, make me write more often or something. What is The Illusion of Knowledge? Quite simply, it's the fact that we as humans don't know as much as we think. Or more accurately, we confuse the basic understanding of a concept with deep knowledge of that concept.

Watch this handy video.

Did you watch it? I love the last line: "...the illusion of knowledge is necessary to keep you from having to face your own incompetence."  I mean, that's just perfect. Also, don't forget to catch a new season of "Brain Games" premiering March 18th at 10pm eastern, only on NatGeo.

So there you go. I don't know what I'm talking about, I'm just sharing what I think I know. The tone of my writings won't change much, but hopefully the frequency will.



Now then, how's your 2014 going so far? So far so good over here. I still own my home, the golf game is slowly improving, Liverpool FC is sitting in second place, and we have a baby boy on the way. You never know what's going to happen with one of those.


"A child..."


Like all parents, we're just hoping for 10 fingers, 10 toes, and for him to be hot. Hot people have it so much easier. Trust me. We think he stands a good chance, but it's a real gamble with mixed race babies. Contrary to stupid white women everywhere, they're not ALL cute. Sometimes they're messed up looking. We always take note of kids with the same racial makeup as our future kid. "Oh look, a hybrid baby. That's a cute one. He even has that cool hair color." Our kid is very unlikely to have the cool hair color but again, we hold out all hope for hotness and athletic ability.

I'm sure I'll write plenty about the kid and the accompanying daddy issues my own fatherhood will drag to the surface, but we'll cry over the side of that bridge when we come to it.

Another thing 2014 has brought is what I can only characterize as some kind of second puberty involving ear hair. Old men have ear hair, and I guess this is when it starts. And those bastards hurt to pluck! The follicles are so new! They haven't been desensitized like my uni-brow follicles. I pluck those five at a time if I can. And I can.

I'm also moody, smelly, and I'm starting to look at women differently, in that, I know cannot have them.

Ahh, second puberty. It reminds me of, of, puberty. The year was 1994. Twenty years ago. My God, has it been that long. There were so many hot girls in my middle school. When I was in 7th grade, some of the 8th grade girls looked like straight up WOMEN. Especially Andrea Mundy. Fiery red hair and boobs. Huge boobs. Just curvy. Rumors abounded that she'd had sex. Sex! Her boyfriend was also in 8th grade, but I remember he looked 27 to me. I rode the late bus home with Andrea one afternoon. I forget why I had to stay late. I don't think I was in trouble. She probably got busted trying to have sex somewhere. Sex!

She actually chatted with me and she was, nice. Pleasant. Part of me probably hoped that she would invite me into the woods for sex. She did not. Anyway, '94 was unbelievable. Let's go over the things that happened in '94. Many of these I knew, some I looked up.

Albums
Dookie
Ill Communication
The Downward Spiral
Superunknown
Weezer (Blue Album)
Punk in Drublic
Illmatic
Ready to Die
Nirvana Unplugged
Jar of Flies
Definitely Maybe and Parklife (Brit pop was huge)
Vitalogy
Regulate...G Funk Era
Mellow Gold
Yanni Live at the Acropolis


Films
Pulp Fiction
Forrest Gump
Shawshank Redemption
Four Weddings and a Funeral
The Lion King
The Professional
Dumb and Dumber
Natural Born Killers
Interview With the Vampire
The Mask
Speed
Clerks
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
True Lies
Reality Bites
Quiz Show

Events
Probably the first time I used the internet
First version of Netscape Navigator is released! How far we've come...
Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman murdered in by an unknown assailant.
OJ and AC Cowlings engage police in a low speed chase terminating in front of OJ's home (and Baba Booey to y'all)

MLB goes on strike
Mandela elected president of South Africa
Michael Jordan: minor leaguer
Rangers win the Stanley Cup
Tonya Harding, Jeff Gillooley, Nancy Kerrigan, Lillehammer Olympics
NAFTA
Lorena Bobbitt- Not guilty (insanity)
Rwandan genocide begins
I went to Italy with my whole family! We were actually in Rome when Brazil beat Italy in the World Cup final. THAT was wild.
Channel Tunnel opens
Kurt Cobain dies
Richard Nixon dies
Cab Calloway dies
Woodstock '94
George Foreman becomes the oldest heavyweight champ after knocking out Michael Moorer
Jeffery Dahmer is beaten to death in prison, remember?
Harry Styles, Dakota Fanning, and Justin Bieber are born.

I think that's a good place to end. I left out plenty, so if there's anything I missed that you think is egregious, let me know. But what a year it was. I think we're in another good era for music and movies. Some good stuff out lately. And events? Can't stop those. Until next time.